Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Assignment numba 4

Ghosts back in Shakesperes day were usually seen as bad omens or foretellers of bad things to come.  This is when the scary superstitions concerning ghosts started becoming popularized like they are today.

Superstitions with ghosts today are numerous.  To keep a ghost at bay when walking in the dark, carry some bread in your pocket.  If you see a ghost walk around it nine times and it will disappear.  Another is never slam the door for it might hurt a ghost who, in return, will haunt you for the rest of your life.

We supposedly have a ghost on our mountain.  Its the ghost of old Roy Barker.  He was said to have been drowned in the creek at our house by his best friend.For one week of October every three years, his ghost is said to enter someones house and carry their sleeping body to the creek.  Then, when he wakes them, he drops them into the creek and washes them with bounty soap until they suffocate from the wreak.  The next night he enters ones house with a noodle doodle and flogs his victim until they are annoyed. He next forces his poor victim’s mouth open and pours maple syrup down their throats until they die.

I Want a PORSCHE!!

  Im not even kidding.  I would fight a slatwater crocidile for a porsche right now.  I’m obsessed with them.  I got a qoute on our house for Trade-in value at Henessey Porsche in marietta.  It’s that bad.  I can’t even see the letter “P” without thinking about porsches….I think I’m crazy for them.  I saw a guy at the gas station today with a brand new porsche 911 turbo and I was thinking about murdering him and ghetto-jacking his car.  I would have left his old wife a letter of apology or somethin’….because I’d feel bad for killing the dude.  But then again im kinda’ doing him a favor because he’s old and has arthritis and needs to kick the bucket anyways.  It’s not like he could drive the car the way it NEEDS to be driven.

Sweet Jesus, I need counseling.

If I could travel with anyone in Charles Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales it would be Chaucer, or the narrator. I would like to travel with the narrator because I could hear him bad-mouth everyone that he didn’t like and laugh the entire time. It would be hysterical listening to him insult the people he didn’t like in old English. Now I know your thinking, “Hey, didn’t Chaucer accuses himself of being quite and sullen?” Lets be real here. We all know he was being modest. He was probably a big loud-mouth who talked smack to the whole lot of them.

The one person I would not like to travel with is the wife of bath. She is a straight up skank-ho. She’s had five husbands and god knows how many sexual partners. You could probably get herpes from looking at her. She may be rich, but she’s only got the money from divorces. I don’t want any that action going on. And she like baths. I dig showers, so naturally I’m gonna be against her. And to top it off, she probably reeks of gonorrhea.

Thats the Wife of Bath

Thats the Wife ofThe wife of Bath

Bath

New Blog

       I feel really super shy about posting my feelings online, but im going to to overcome my fear.  When I post my feelings i get nausia and my muscles start to cramp.  Then I usually throw up and cry.  I wish i was in a fairy land with unicorns and gophers.  Im looking forward to the assignments though to overcome my fear. 

Continue Reading »

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.